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hello, beautiful
» You'll never really understand me, but that's okay since i don't really know myself.
Menthols, Coffee, My bed, vintage, thrifting, old books, writing, travel. Current events, my mom, sex and the city, newspapers, tea cups, tattoos, wild hair. Skinny jeans, flats, Urban, big closets, christmas lights, human rights, blogging, ebay, etsy,family, did i mention a love affair with coffee?
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| Aww ladies, I've been gone for some time :/ But I'm here now, and I know that's all that counts. I've still been dieting but something just wasn't right for me here on Xanga. Lately, I've actually been getting out of my hermit ways and going out and having fun. It makes me feel so good to actually hang out with people, and know that they think i'm funny or like being around me. I have been working 40 hour weeks at work and it sucks. Making food and working in a kitchen sucks. I dyed my hair, it's practically black, and my skin is so pale. But oddly enough, i like it.
I've kept off the first 10lbs i lost while still using Xanga, which i'm really happy about. I've been bouncing from 145 down to 142 for weeks. I've been eating what i want, which is bad. Chinese, Subs, Chips, and brownies from work :/ The last party i went to, i danced with a boy, and now of coarse big ol crush. He's adorable, but haven't seen him in awhile.
Taking one summer class, and it's awful. I have almost 13 chapters to read in one week. INTENSE.
Also realizing, that i'm home sick really bad. I haven't lived at home for almost 2 and half years, but me and my mom are really close, and i'm all she has so it sucks not being able to go home as much as i want. Added to that i live almost 4 hours away :/
My good friend who moved away has a new found eating problem like us, she has lost alot of weight, and i'm happy for her, but let me just be honest; I'm jealous as fuck. I have had my problem for years now, and she is a newbie and is surpassing me and keeping it off! I'll be going to see her in August, maybe she'll come to see me next month. She's the only person i've ever talked to, about my eating problem. (i hate the word disorder) Especially when my life can be completely disordered, the eating part is only one part of the problem you know?
So ladies, I'm back. I have been "Tumbling" for abit, i don't know how i feel about it tho..Too impersonal?
               
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| With my two small binges lasting two days each, it has been a month and 5 days that i have kept to my diet! I think this is almost the longest that i stuck with it! I haven't been doing much exercise, i feel for right now just changing my eating lifestyle will be good. Since my days at work, i'm on my feet all day, lifting things, and cleaning, which is a whole body work out. Plus walking around campus, and biking too!
This week and next are my finals, so this Saturday my roommates and I are throwing a big ass party! So excited.It's weird to me how worried i am about even drinking anymore, like i worry about the amount of calories! But i figure i'll tmi, puke anyways, so it will get the hell outta my body,lol.
This morning equals coffee, a cup of low cal vanilla yogurt with cheerios and blackberries! so so so so good!
Classes till 5, then home to study and maybe some yoga?
Another thing ladies, i suggest for you all that has been working for me, is that i have cooked my own meals almost every day during this month! That way i know what i'm putting in my mouth! I've had like 2 lean cuisines, which are fairly good, but there full of preservatives!
Thinspo tonight, i've gotta catch the bus to campus~!
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